Thrill Seeking

Finding ways to say “Ahh” is all about being open to possibilities

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Finding ways to say “Ahh” is all about being open to possibilities 〰️

From left: Dame Aer, $120, Pom, $130, Com $175, and Arc $160

There are myriad often over- looked, and perhaps unexpected, ways to bring on bliss—some nice and some naughty. Engaging in a creative hobby like watercolour painting or ceramics (without self-judgment, natch), preparing a sumptuous home-cooked meal, nurturing a plant or even just turning off your phone for the afternoon to relax and listen to music—these are all potential outlets for a pleasurable experience. And let’s not leave the Big O out of the equation.

According to Alexandra Fine, sexologist and CEO of Dame— which specializes in pleasure- centric wares from vibrators to a sex oil to an arousal serum—the sex toy industry “has definitely evolved during the pandemic, as customers have been increasingly investing in at-home pleasure and prioritizing ways to feel good.”

Since introducing its first product, a wearable couples vibrator called Eva, in 2014, Dame has sparked a sexual revolution of sorts, finding its way into the hearts of millions of happy customers and onto

the shelves of national retailers like Indigo. The new Sally Rooney with a vibrator on the side? Throw in a pair of cozy reading socks and you’ve got yourself the ideal weekend.

“Dame products resonate with our customers because they provide an accessible price point and are thoughtfully designed by women for women,” says Calli Ramirez, the head of Indigo’s wellness category.

Stocking a selection of Dame vibes to suit every whim and fancy, including the new Com, Dame’s inventive take on the classic wand, Indigo has made it beyond easy for customers to explore personal pleasure, whether that’s the uninitiated looking for their first vibrator or more experienced players who want to add a new sensation to their collection. (Variety is the spice of life, after all.) “Together [we] play an important role in reducing stigma, normalizing the conversation
and empowering customers to understand and be comfortable with sexual wellness and pleasure as an important part of their overall wellness,” says Ramirez.

Fret not if your usual self-care routine doesn’t include a little bump-and-tickle now and then, though. Empowerment is key because everyone’s pathway to pleasure is different. What’s important to remember is that you can always give yourself permission to probe just what types of activities bring you joy. And with a positive outlook, an open mind and the right tools at your disposal—whether that’s a yoga mat, a watering can or a vibrator—seeking out joyful junctures can be something to explore for years to come.

Credits

COPY, ODESSA PALOMA PARKER; PHOTOGRAPHY, BRANDON TITARO; HAIR AND MAKEUP BY JASMINE MERINSKY; EXCEPT ALOE LUBE BY MICHAEL KAZIMIERCZUK; PROP STYLING BY SUZANNE CAMPOS (P1M) AND WILSON WONG (P1M)

A spa water circuit. A relaxing day at the beach. An orgasm. What do these all have in common?

A state of pleasure. If it’s been a while since the P-word was a part of your vocabulary, you’re not alone. For most of us, the pandemic has stripped away opportunities to revel in the enjoyment of such moments, applying more heaviness to an already trying time.

“The pandemic has added stressors in all realms of life,” says award-winning sex and emotional-literacy educator Karen B.K. Chan. “Everything from money and jobs to health and caring for dependants, both younger and older. It has exacerbated things that are already challenging to begin with.” In order to cope with the increased demands of the past two years, says Chan, many people “have generally shut down the ability to really feel, so joy and pleasure have gone out the door.” But instead of despairing at their departure, what if we were to consider this a time to welcome such intoxicating feelings back— guilt-free? Thankfully, to do so simply requires drawing on that buzzy concept of mindfulness. “Joy and pleasure are deeply connected to play,” says Chan. “And what does play require? It requires that we are not tuned into anything else but the thing that we’re at play with to really have fun.”

It’s unfortunate that once you’re knee deep in your adulting years, having fun is generally associated with laziness, selfishness or— worst of all—being unproductive. Participating in activities that do more than just delight, like a spa treatment or a midday nap, can trigger internalized feelings of guilt or shame, whether that’s about being perceived by others as overly self-indulgent or the worry that you’re ignoring life’s hamster wheel of obligations.

By practising mindfulness, experiencing pleasure can become part of the everyday. It can be as simple as spending an extra two minutes in the shower to experience a scalp massage with the new Manta Pulse, a vibrating hairbrush that stimulates and exfoliates the scalp to spine-tingling effect.

Dame’s variety of pleasure devices and accessories (from $17) spice things up in the bedroom and beyond.

Odessa Paloma ParkerFebruary 27, 2021